Everyone has, or at one point had, parents. Teenagers can seem to have been put on this planet for the sole purpose of irritating and testing the limits of patience of their parents. Differences in culture often lead to social barriers between parents and their teen that can lead to even more barriers in communication. When a morning ritual as simple as breakfast can turn into a screaming match ending in tears and a slammed door, many parents believe that harsh measures are in need. One key is to realise that this behaviour is entirely normal -however twisted and crazed it might seem.  The best parents in the world are occasionally seen by their teen as ogres, uncaring adult monsters unaware of the necessities of social survival in a jungle of hormonal cruelty.

One important element in being able to talk to your teen is a relationship of open communication for the preceding portion of his or her life. For a parent to be able to communicate, the first necessity is to be open to communication. To be seen as approachable by your teen, it is important to have an attitude of guidance and support, rather than disapproval and judgment. The biggest fear of a teen is negative judgment, whether it is received from a peer, or even his or her own parent.

A teenager is coming into their own, realising their own imminent ability to determine the course of their own life fully. At any point in this stage of development, it is surprisingly easy for the teen to feel capable of determining their own life, likely the course of which flying in the face of their parents’ wishes or even popular ideas of convention.

The important thing to determine is if the behaviour is directly harmful, or if simply a negative part of an unpopular idea of self has reared its head. Independence, in social behavior as well as personal, is a positive thing so long as it produces a positive end. Reason is the standard.

Article by Rachel Goodchild