Be sure to take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. Physical exhaustion often translates into emotional stress. Your energy may feel depleted, while your children's needs are ongoing. Depression, irritability and a sense of inadequacy are common responses to this sort of stress. Be sure to find time for yourself, even if it means hiring part-time help.

Having less time for each individual baby can make parents feel guilty or sad. These emotions become even more complex if you already have other children.

There are around 860 sets of twins and 840 sets of triplets born every year in New Zealand. One in three thousand births produces triplets. One in eighty births produce fraternal twins. Despite common perceptions. Only about four to five percent of multiple births are due to assisted reproduction.

A woman who has fraternal twins is four times as likely to produce fraternal twins again. Having fraternal twins is an inherited occurrence, and if you have a mother or sister who has had a set, you are more likely to have them yourself.

Identical twins can also run in families, but generally there is no previous twin connection in a family with identical twins. Unlike common believe, twins don't tend to skip a generation and can be born any time. A set of triplets or quadruplets may be a combination of fraternal and identical twins.

It is more common than it was ten yeas ago for women to have twins in New Zealand. This may also have something to do with the fact that older mothers are more likely to have twins. Most women having twins are aged between 25-29 years.

Do you Know a Family Expecting Multiples?

A mother pregnant with twins or triplets is often put on bed rest or limited activity. If this occurs, she will be grateful for an offer of extra help. You can provide conversation and moral support and help to care for any other children. Cook some meals, do the washing and help organise the babies' room (with her direction!). Find her the local Multiple Birth Club and help her make contact.

Until each baby sleeps through the night, Mum and Dad will be sleep deprived and most likely overwhelmed! Sometimes parents of multiples will not feel comfortable asking for help. Repeat your offer if necessary, and provide any support they will allow you to.

Respect the boundaries that the parents have set. What worked for your babies may not work for the multiples and it is important not to invade the family's space.

Always offer hands on care if visiting a multiple birth family. Offer to watch the babies while the mother gets a few hours rest or does the shopping. You could help with the feeding or bath time, or cook a few meals to help the whole family.

Great presents for multiple birth families besides time and care is nappies. Two or more babies at a time can work their way through a lot of wiped bottoms!

Despite all the challenges, multiples also bring great rewards. Parents get the unique chance to love several babies at once and marvel at the relationship between them, which is a very special one. There is a fascination surrounding twins and triplets that is hard to deny. The enchantment of multiples affects everyone the encounter. This experience is very precious and the challenges of having them are dulled in comparisons to the joy they bring!

For further information on twins or triplets contact:

Multiple Birth Club
Freephone 0800 Twins Etc (0800 89467 382)

NZ Multiple Birth Association www.nzmba.info

NZ Triplet Plus Club Regional Coordinators

·         Auckland 09 818 9933

·         Central North Island 07 366 4771

·         Lower North Island 04 298 6330

·         Central South Island 03 357 2057

·         Lower South Island 03 466 7006

Triplet Plus Club comes under the main umbrella of the New Zealand Multiple Birth Association (NZMBA), as well as numerous regional Multiple Birth Clubs throughout the country. The Association can put expectant parents in touch with Multiple Birth Clubs nearest to them and offer help, support and advice to all parents of twins or triplets.

Many of the Multiple Birth Clubs provide opportunities to hear and share ideas, provide information on the raising of twins or triplets as well as make arrangements for buying, selling and exchanging clothing and equipment. They also have social functions for members and their families.

The PORSE Network and the NZ Nanny Support Services offer parents of twins and triplets a resource allowance to assist with a nanny's wage. WINZ pays for 1560 hours over a two-year period for triplets and 240 hours for twins.

Article by Rachel Goodchild

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