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Double trouble or double blessing?
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ImageMany doctors will often say the first reaction most parents have when finding out they are carrying twins is tears. Whether they are of joy, or fear, it is certainly a larger shock than the expectation of a singleton. Luckily, just as with parenting a singleton only with more desperation, parents of multiple births quickly become very imaginative and creative in seeking solutions to the endless stream of tricky, not-enough-hands problems that can arise after their bundles of happiness arrive home.

One mum tells her story

Miranda Walker discovered a whole raft of coping ideas to keep her new babies happy. If you have twins or know someone who is expecting them her tips and tricks will come in useful.

Miranda writes…

One such trick that I employed was to have a constant stream of visitors carefully choreographed to arrive at likely crisis moments, such as bath times, or meal times for older siblings.  Traditionally friends seem to stay away for fear of adding to the carnage - but making sure they are welcome and busy can free up parents of twins to have that long awaited shower, or spend a quality half hour with their older child.

As soon as I let go of my long-held ideas of being the perfect mum things rapidly became less stressful. ‘Whatever works wins’ was the single most helpful piece of advice that I received from another mum of twins.  And so, as soon as my twins could sit up I would get down to household chores dragging them from room to room, face-to-face in a cardboard box, staring at each other, tweaking one another’s noses and knotting their feet.  The true bonus of double trouble is that they can be each others’ own best toy, a resource that cannot be understated.

Joining support groups is another resource that can save a multiple mum’s sanity. The leading support organisation dedicated to this work is the Multiple Birth Society (http://www.nzmba.info/), which has offices and groups in most of New Zealand’s main centres as well as providing outreach support to further flung communities.  They offer everything from the loan of baby gear to promoting members-only special deals on formula and nappies, as well as lending support and advice when things get tough.  They also organise get-togethers of other families with multiples, which can be a life- saver when you really want to be understood.

Ultimately though, the most valuable tool that parents of multiple births can use is their patience.  Not losing your cool when it seems that the world has actually gone quite mad, using whatever technique you can muster, or buy (earplugs certainly have their place in a house of double reflux!), can be your greatest achievement and the rewards are many.

And remember that time passes.  They won’t fit in the box forever.  Enjoy them while they do.

 


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