When fathers are able to hold, cuddle, bath, change, talk, sing and read to their baby they learn about the ways baby reacts to them and baby learns that their father is a person who will meet their needs. The more involved a father can be with his child, the better the attachment between them will be, and the more the baby’s development will benefit.

A father can also play an important role in supporting mother, as they are often the person who knows their partner best, and is able to predict her needs as she recovers from the birth and adjusts to her new role. Research indicates that breastfeeding is more successful when the father is committed to supporting the mother to breastfeed.

What are some of the practical ways fathers can help a new mother?

•    Taking an active role in caring for the baby, such as bathing, changing, holding, singing or reading to       baby
•    Taking time to get to know the baby, and the things that comfort them
•    Taking baby for a walk so that the mother can have a rest
•    Talking and finding ways to solve problems together
•    Supporting the mother’s decision to breastfeed
•    Being aware of mother’s stress and mental wellbeing, and supporting her to seek help if necessary.

In the early days of being a mother, it is common for women to experience a range of emotions; from elation and excitement to some periods of low anxiety and confusion.  For some however, the low feeling lasts longer and may develop into post natal depression.  Indicators of post natal depression, can include being tearful and sad, unable to see the funny side of things, seems worried about not doing a good job, blaming herself if things don’t go to plan, being overly worried about apparently small issues, sleeping a lot, or not sleeping well even when baby is asleep. 

If a father is concerned about his partner’s health and wellbeing he could talk to the partner, another close family member, a friend, Midwife, GP, Plunket Nurse – and offering help can always help care for the baby. 

Adjusting to the role of a father can feel overwhelming and tiring and there is a lot to learn, very quickly.  Support is available for fathers too, these include:

•    talking with other fathers and sharing experiences
•    joining a local dad’s support group
•    parenting education groups/antenatal group follow up courses
•    talk to your family doctor
•    talk to your Plunket Nurse
•    PlunketLine – Plunket’s free telephone advice service 0800 933 922 (7 days, 7am – midnight)
•    visiting diy.fathers.com – a website that provides discussion groups and practical advice for fathers

For more information about parenting courses and father support groups in your area contact your local Plunket clinic.

For further advice or information about Post natal Depression you can contact PlunketLine 0800 933 922 (7 days, 7am – midnight) your midwife, Plunket Nurse or GP.

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