Start with a little compromise

Compromise is necessary if you don't want to have a battle every time you child does something which one of you perceives as inappropriate. Spend some time discussing the different values each of you brings to the family and how these can be combined into a parenting style you can both agree with. Taking the time to discuss parenting styles, rules, and consequences will avoid future discipline issues.

Blended families come with their own set of discipline issues. Your child may know what is expected of them, but when a new step parent comes into the family the child may be resentful and reluctant to follow directions. It is important to discuss these issues as a family, and address them calmly and rationally.

No matter your individual parenting situation, the first lesson you have to learn is never, ever argue in front of your child while you are trying to discipline them. Discuss your disagreement out of the children's earshot, then present a united front. Take the time to discuss your disagreement privately, before you speak to the child about their behaviour.

Once you and your partner are alone, you should then talk to them quietly and rationally. Tell them what you think, and see if a compromise can be reached. If you choose a new consequence after your conversation, then the same parent who gave the punishment should then talk to the child. This is the time for telling them why you have given them a different punishment for what they did wrong.

When parents have differing views it is too easy for them to want to have their own way. This takes the focus away from the child's behaviour, and delays action. Both parents need to compromise on consequences for the family and present a united front.

Article by Rachel Goodchild

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