How much of this represents normal growing pains?

When do you become concerned enough about the possibility of depression to consult a professional for your teenager?

Here are some other indicators for teen depression:

While they are also indicative of normal teen behavior, they are worth noting if they occur to an excessive degree, or to any degree that worries you. Trust your instincts and seek help if you feel your teen is struggling too hard with these.

Teens in trouble wrestle with emotions, and not surprisingly, it's the negative ones that get them into trouble. They may obsess over the morbid, and write desperately sad stories or poetry. Their musical taste may include highly emotional or violent lyrics. They may become unusually cynical or sarcastic, or hostile, and may swap their usual friends for a whole new set. Or they may become loners. Some teens will lose interest in a sport they loved in the past. Grades may drop, and they may become disinterested in anything to do with school. Sometimes they will neglect their personal hygiene by neglecting to take regular baths or wash their hair. It's possible that some teens will turn to drugs and/or alcohol to disconnect from the reality they have been dealt. They may become defensive when others try to help.

When teens are depressed they feel hopeless about their present as well as their future. They suffer a lack of self-esteem and feel helpless to make life better. They are de-energized, and lounge around the house as if they'd misplaced their backbone. They may obsess over role-playing games that take them out of their unsatisfactory world and into a fantasy world that brings more comfort.

If you are concerned about your teen and suspect depression, try talking about it. Comfort, reassure, and encourage him. Express your faith in him. If this is not successful then you can assume that outside help is needed. Arrange a meeting with your child's guidance counselor, who may be able to contribute important information about your child's school behavior. Check with this guidance counselor or your church for recommendations of a good counselor. Be prepared to accept whole-family counseling if the professional feels it will help your teen. Above all, try your best to keep communication open. Teens feel terribly alienated at best, and need to be reminded that you are there, and that you care. Be patient, and be sympathetic. Your own patience, strength, and understanding will help them more than you know.

by Rachel Goodchild

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