The best way to encourage your child to try new skills is to demonstrate precisely and slowly in simple ways that he can understand. Then give him time to practice, and to be allowed to make his own mistakes and correct them.

Try looking at the world from your child's perspective. By giving him clear boundaries and careful guidelines, you can allow him to learn how to do things for himself and give him the self-respect and confidence that come with independence.  

A matter of size  

The first step is to seek out tools and utensils that are the right size for your child. Most of the tasks young children can do are much easier if they have equipment made in a size that is right for their age. Most parents can find child-sized toothbrushes, but there are also child-sized cups, plates, forks, spoons, watering cans, brooms and brushes, and even tubes of toothpaste.  

The real thing  

Children can easily stir things that are cool, wash vegetables, or learn how to set the table. Children do not always want to do what we are doing, and I am not suggesting that you should make a young child wash the dishes when she really wants to play. Buy child-sized cutlery. Outlines of each piece show your child how to set the table and where to place her plate and cup. But when children ask or show that they want to help, be ready to show them how. And, if you've taken the time to organize your kitchen to provide a small worktable and some child-sized basic tools, they are more likely to ask, help out, and come back again and again.

Step by step  

Many of the things that we do every day involve several different skills, each of which we learned along the way. By breaking tasks down into small steps, you can help your child to master each level of difficulty, one at a time.   Take this approach when you want to teach your child how to sort clean socks in the laundry or put flowers in a vase. Think about each step and how you can make it simple to follow.

Explain each step with just a few words as you demonstrate it, so your child concentrates on what you are doing rather than what you are saying. Then let your child practice until she is competent at each stage.   Learning to ride a bicycle is a good analogy. When children are ready, parents often give them a tricycle, and let them learn how to mount and dismount, how to steer, and how to work the pedals. As safe as tricycles are, they usually do not have brakes, and we are careful where we let our children ride them. Eventually the time comes when children ask for a "big kid's bike".

Parents choose a bike that is the right size for their child, and it comes equipped with training wheels. Those extra wheels help keep this much larger bike upright, and allow your child to get used to the pedals, steering, and brakes. Slowly, they become more and more confident until they ask us to remove the training wheels. Before you know it, they are zipping around on their bikes, and you constantly have to remind them to wear their safety helmets!   Step by step, this process of mastering an everyday skill is made easier by careful planning, and patient instruction and support from parents.

Lessons such as these continue as your child grows up, until they are grown. The process of teaching your teenager to drive is a good example of an everyday life skill your child learns when she is almost grown. Leaning how to deal with conflicts with friends, manage savings, and plan a small party, are other examples.   Perhaps one of the most difficult things to do as a parent, once we have taught our children new skills, is to then allow them to continue to practice these tasks as part of their everyday life without interfering. We would never suggest that a child who has learned to ride a two-wheeler bike goes back to training wheels, but how often do we continue to bundle a child into her coat or shoes long after she is capable of put them on without our help? 

A sense of order  

A key element in teaching your children everyday life skills is keeping everything tidy. In their crucial sensitive period for order, their world needs to be well organized. If they are taught where things belong, and how to return them correctly when they are finished using them, they internalize this sense of order, and carry it with them for the rest of their lives.   Teach your children to take only one toy or book off the shelf at a time, and to return it to the same place when they are done. Most of us can be overwhelmed by the chaos that quickly develops around the house if we leave things lying around. Children are particularly sensitive to this. While they are most often masters at creating a mess, most find it difficult to clean up after themselves. The most efficient approach is to clean up as you go along. While some children may be born with a "neat gene", children can be taught right from the start to work and play in a tidy way without stifling their creativity or stripping playtime of fun. 

The secret is to establish a ground rule and gently but firmly teach your children that while they may select anything from their shelves to work and play with for as long as they wish, they must return it when they are done, and may not remove something new until the last thing has been put away.   Some toys are better when used together with other toys-a set of building blocks and a collection of toy cars, for example. All you need to do in this instance is incorporate the two toys into a collection. Children can easily learn special rules, such as the idea that the toy cars and blocks go together, and it's OK to play with them at the same time. The key idea is to get all of the toy cars and blocks returned to the shelf before your child goes on to the next project. 

Photographic labels

Use photos on storage containers to help your child return things to the right place. You can also place a photo on each shelf showing how the entire shelf should look when all the toys, games, books, and other items are stored there have been placed in proper order. This allows the children to use the photo as a control of error whenever they take the materials off the shelves to play, work, dust, polish, or inspect them for damage.