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10 Ways to be the Perfect Wife
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10 Ways to be the Perfect Wife
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perfect_wife.jpgBefore you get put off by the horribly 1950s Susie Homemaker article title (which was tongue in cheek by the way!), these reminders are not aimed at keeping women chained to the stove and fluffing pillows for their weary husband’s head, they are designed to serve as a light-hearted reminder for things that are worth remembering in coupledom – especially after you’ve been together a while and begin to take each other for granted.



The fact is, relationships are hard work. It’s easy to fall in love, but building a loving relationship takes patience, time and energy. Wise women know that there are sneaky tips and tricks to keeping the peace in a relationship instead of starting a war and that there are always little ways to keep things interesting no matter how many years down the line you are together.


1) Keep some mystique
Don’t talk to him like he’s a girlfriend. Even if he is your best friend and you tell him everything, there are some things best kept away from him. Men might act tough, but they can be weirdly squeamish about the little things – so he doesn’t want to hear the nitty gritty details about your PMS, your IUD, the ingrowns you got from the cheap wax therapist and nor does he want to walk past the bathroom and see you sitting on the loo. It’s really hard to maintain mystique when you live with someone, but it’s worth it… so do your best and close the bathroom door.

2) Have your own interests and encourage him to have his
Just because his first instinct may be to hit the couch till bed-time every night doesn’t mean he ‘wants’ to or that he wants you to. Make plans – together and apart - and keep surprising him. It’s far more interesting and fulfilling for you to take an after work dance or kick-boxing class, or suddenly be able to talk dirty to him in Spanish, than to wile away your evening hours watching Shortland Street. And don’t assume he can’t take care of himself if you aren’t there. If he can’t look after himself, you married the wrong guy, so tell him you’re out for a few hours and to go out with the boys. He’ll think you are the bee’s knees. And worst comes to worst… he can cook his own dinner and have a date with the couch.

3) Show yourself off
So, you have a fat bum, cellulite, a flabby stomach… Seriously, it’s time to get over it. Men are so enamoured with the female body they truly don’t notice the bits that we can’t stand… unless you point them out to him. So stop being negative about the way you look and show yourself off. Fake confidence if you have to. Do your makeup in your lacy lingerie in the morning, wear stay-ups, pop your heels on and walk around in them like you aren’t sure what to wear on top and he’ll be thinking about what you have on underneath all day. Remember how you used to make an effort to look pretty for a date when you first met? Just because you have him hook, line and sinker doesn’t mean he wouldn’t like it if you still made an effort now and again. Even if all you do is swipe a bit of lippie on it makes him feel special and it does wonders for your confidence too.

4) Know how to cook a good meal…
…but don’t do it all the time. Keep him on his toes – never make him think that you owe him dinner or that it’s your ‘job’ to cook it for him. It’s easy for things that need doing around the house to become habits and the next stage is someone gets taken for granted – usually with the result of said partner feeling bitter and twisted about it. If you’re putting a big effort into your cooking tell him – explain you are trying a new recipe and want to know what he thinks. Don’t ‘expect’ him to shower you with compliments – ask him what he thinks. He probably thinks stuffing his face and completing the meal with a belch is the greatest compliment on earth – and in a way (albeit a rather unattractive way) it is!

5) Ask nicely
Women tend to be more sensitive to the needs of others than men, so we can find it hard to understand that men tend to have to be asked for help, but that once you ask them, for the most part they can be quite eager to please. Put simply, ask (nicely) and you shall receive. Treat him like you would treat a friend. If your ‘friend’ happens to be blobbed out on the couch with a beer watching TV while you slave over a hot stove and you feel your blood starting to boil, realise that he probably just isn’t thinking and that there is nothing to gain by being angry. Men can be simple creatures, so if you want his help, ask for it… but choose your words wisely, men get defensive when provoked. Don’t say “How about you get off your fat ass and take out the garbage you slob?!” Take a deep breath, smile sweetly and in your nicest voice, say “Darling, would you please take out the garbage, I’ve got my hands full with the dinner?” Notice the bold bits. You’ve greeted him with kindness, you have respectfully used your manners and you have pointed out why you need his help. It might seem somewhat painful, but if you get the knack of this, chances are he will be quite happy to help. When he’s done what you asked, thank him. The trick with the male gender is to be specific when you delegate and not to criticise. It’s much better than starting an argument and eating dinner in stony silence.
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