He listens
OK, so we are all familiar with that glazed over expression that the male species occasionally get when they hear us women talking. And let's be fair - women do talk a lot, we love it! Of course, now and again, when we have been harping on about work for the last hour, that glazed over look is probably fair enough. But a sure sign of a keeper is a man that (for the most part) listens to what you have to say and more often than not wants to give you advice and feedback on it. Now even if you don't want his advice, you just want to vent, it helps to understand that when a man cares about a woman, his way of protecting 'his lady' and trying to keep her happy is to offer his advice to the best of his ability. If your man is listening to you and responding by trying to be your knight in shining armour, you should take this as a very good sign.

You're both comfortable
Sometimes the 'comfortable' stuff can be a little uncool - perhaps he has taken to sticking his finger up his nose in front of the TV, or burping after a meal, but despite the slightly less exciting connotations behind a 'comfortable' relationship, in a healthy relationship each partner feels completely at ease with the other. If silences don't feel awkward, you can talk to him about anything, and you actually want him there to take care of you when you are sick instead of worrying about what you look like, then this is a good place for a relationship to be. And of course, once you're there, if the relationship needs spicing up, you'll want to put the effort in.

You can be you
Gone are those fretful early dating days where you stressed over every minor detail of what you should say to him - if things are on the right track in your relationship, you will be happy to just relax around him and be who you are. Despite what we might try to convince ourselves when we really fancy Mr Wrong, you can only be truly happy in any relationship if you have a strong sense of self, so if you feel like you are hiding who you really are, get out now! If he accepts and loves you for who you are and what you believe in, he's a keeper.

He makes you want to be a better person
Does he inspire you to achieve your goals in life? Does he make you fantasise about how good a mother you could be one day? Do you feel like you have become a better person since you met? After an argument do you think about how badly you behaved and vow to fight fair next time? When we are happy in the right relationship, we want to become a better person for ourselves, for our partners and for our potential family. You know you've got a keeper when you find a man who encourages and supports you through the good times and the bad, and gives you the confidence to be who you want to be.

More than just friends
Philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche said, 'It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.' Ask yourself - is he a good friend? Can you confide in him, seek solace in him, turn to him for a cuddle when you have had a bad day? Do you want to go out and have fun with him because you enjoy each other's company? Imagine, just for a minute that you are not in a 'couple' relationship with your partner... would you still be his friend? No matter how good he is in the bedroom, the simple truth is, the best relationships are the ones that are based on a jolly good friendship. These friendships grow and improve over time. If you consider him one of your best friends, you can consider him a keeper.

Common interests
It's really important to have and maintain your own interests and independence when you are in a relationship, but it is just as important to share some common ground with your partner. While we all know the saying, 'opposites attract' it can be an exhausting life if you choose to spend all of it debating your beliefs with your partner. Do you enjoy the same activities? Do you share the same philosophical or spiritual outlook? Do you share the same hobbies? You don't need to be the exact mirror image of each other (that would be a bit weird!), but healthy relationships need a common ground where you share a passion.

Family Ties
You know a man is serious about his relationship with you when he makes you a part of his family occasions. If he welcomes you to his family and takes the time to make sure you all get to know each other, then he is clearly in for the long haul. But, if he keeps putting off the opportunity to introduce you to his parents then you have cause for concern... Likewise, from your perspective... Your friends and family probably know you pretty well and can often be good judges of character when we are blinded by love, or lust - so find out what your friends and family think of him. If everyone you care about thinks you two are perfect for each other and it's become a regular family joke to ask "when the two of you are going to get engaged", you can be fairly sure you're onto a good thing.

He gives you time and energy
Every good relationship takes time and energy, but you know you have got a keeper when he makes sure he gets to spend time with you. We all get busy with work and family priorities, but when we are in a good relationship there has to be some sort of compromise so that we get quality time with our partner. If your man is willing to put aside the odd night with the boys to go for a quiet meal with you then you know his heart is in the right place. Other than quality time together as a couple, you might find that he is willing to put time and energy into doing things for you... Does he whip out the glue-gun to fix the heel on your favourite shoes or tell you to put your feet up while he cooks dinner when you have had a rough week? It's the little things he does to impress you that are his way of saying, 'Aren't I good to have around? Look what I have done for you!' In particular with the male species, sometimes actions speak louder than words...

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