Problem: Where to live

It might sound a little fussy, but if you move into his place, he's already established the area as his own and the transition may be a little tough. Likewise if he is planning on moving into yours. An ideal resolution is to find a new place together that will sufficiently house the two of you, plus all your belongings - and sit nicely halfway between each of your respective places of work! If this isn't possible and one of you is moving into your partner's place, then be respectful of the partner's move into your space. Have a spring clean and make sure there is plenty of cupboard space.

Problem: He is a messy house-mate!

Unless you both decide to split the costs of a cleaner once a week (not a bad idea at all!) you will have to sort a way of dividing the chores. Unfortunately the clean-freak is always going to have a tendency to clean up after the lazy slob but this isn't fair and will lead to bitterness in the relationship. Some couples find it easy to divide the living space into rooms - she takes the kitchen and bathroom and he takes the bedroom and living room for example. Other tasks are also easily divided up by a chore chart so that dishes and laundry are divided up equally over the week. I know a couple that use a chore chart and it solves a lot of arguments for them.

Problem: Bills, bills, bills

It is widely known that one of the most common causes of arguments among couples is money. If you both earn the same amount of money this is an easy problem to solve - simply split all the bill costs 50/50. If however, there is a disparity in the amount of money that you each earn, it is a good idea to use a mathematical equation to work this out so that the bills are divvied up fairly according to income. If the income split is not equal, you can consider Contributing in proportion to your income, so if you earn 70% of your combined incomes you agree to pay 70% of your shared expenses. Another option which can be really helpful to couples, particularly young couples building their lives together is to set up a joint bank account into which you each put a designated amount of money in each month to cover your living costs such as bills, groceries and entertainment costs.

Problem: Furniture clash

This is a tough one... especially if your boyfriend is particularly attached to his Playboy centerfolds or his football memorabilia! In an ideal world you would go shopping together and buy new things that you both like, allowing yourself to get a buzz from shopping for things together and getting stuck into a bit of re-decorating. However, finances don't always allow for this fun so negotiation is in order. Start from scratch - talk about what styles you each like and find one that you agree on - there is bound to be a look that you both mutually agree would suit your place. Negotiate your way through the items that you disagree over and try to find places where they fit. And relax, sometimes a quirky kitsch home with a mix of styles is a great look and it's important that your home reflects you as a couple.

Problems: The remote control

To avid TV fans this can be a serious bone of contention in an otherwise happy house-hold. It is ridiculous to argue over this, but if it is an issue the best solution is to discuss when your favourite shows are on and find out when his are on. You may find that it is an easy solution to take turns taping the shows and watching them at convenient times. If that is no good consider getting together at a girlfriend's house to watch your fave girlie show and leave him to enjoy Monster's Garage.

One last thing...

Cherish your quality time together. Before you live together you see each other often and you go out and do things together as a couple. You value the time with each other because you don't live together. Things can change when you move into a place as a couple. It's quite easy to live with someone and hardly see them except for when they rush out the door to work in the morning!

Bonding does not mean sitting in silence while you watch the TV over dinner... You will still need to put aside quality time to give each other plenty of love and attention, so be sure to schedule quality time and don't just rely on the fact that you live with each other.

Article by Je t'aime Hayr

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