Many of us learn our argument styles from our parents and watching them manage (or not, as the case may be) their conflicts. After a tiff the other day, I joked that my arguing style was seriously flawed because every time I fight with my partner I end up sitting in the car at the local park while he lies on the couch and watches a DVD! Yes, I 'flee the scene' to make a point and then five minutes later feel like a complete twat!

But it's important to remember the act of arguing isn't actually unhealthy it is the style of argument which can be unhealthy.

Rocky Balboa
If you resort to violent actions such as projecting your shoes across the room at your boyfriend's head, slamming doors and stamping your feet, your drama queen aggression is going to be completely intolerable and unprofessional for all who are subjected to it. Anger is a powerful emotion that should be handled with class and respect, and violence is a childish - not to mention offensive - way of handling a situation. The desire to let out your anger by throwing something or stamping your feet is akin to the throwing yourself on the floor in the playground and pummeling the ground with your fists. It was annoying when you were five and unacceptable as an adult.

Fight fair...
Blow off steam another physical way - heading off to the gym, writing in a diary or even going for a walk will give your body the feeling that you are doing something active, without breaking anything! Tell the person that you are doing this to let off steam and that together you will resolve the issue when you have calmed down.

The Runaway
You always seem to be running out the door whenever an argument starts... Storming off can be a really effective way of leaving the situation until you have cooled down enough to handle the argument effectively or make up. If however, you take off in a huff only to stew in your own anger and think of more spiteful rebuttals to storm back in with, clearly this is not a good idea. It is also not a good idea if you are fighting with your partner and you use this as some sort of veiled threat to say, 'I'm leaving you.'

Fight fair:
Instead of fleeing the situation completely, ask your partner if you can both slow down the speed of the disagreement. Stop and think of the issues at hand and decide how this makes you feel before discussing further. If you do need to leave to cool off, inform the other person that this is what you are doing.