• Don’t expect the ‘being in love’ stage of your relationship to be the same as the ‘falling in love’ stage. The excitement, the butterflies and the first date jitters will pass, and in its place will be a love that grows as you continue to develop and learn together.
• Relationship counselor Susan Jeffers has a phrase ‘looking in the mirror’ – take a long look at yourself and what you can improve about yourself to be a better partner. Don’t just nitpick at your partner, ask yourself what you can do to be a better partner.
• Don’t become boring. Continue to learn new things and grow your personality. Nobody wants to have the same conversation with the same person every day. Give yourself an opportunity to rediscover different aspects to yourself and watch your relationship flourish.
• Make plans together. Set goals and work on them together. Planning your marriage was a goal, planning children was a goal, but life does not stop there. Thinking of new things that you want to achieve together and taking steps towards them will revitalise your love.
• Take pride in your appearance. Eating food that nourishes your body will, in turn will nourish your soul. When you feel better you look better and vice versa. Find an exercise that you enjoy and take pleasure in an active body. You will radiate a more positive energy. Don’t just dress to impress at work, remember to dress to impress your partner now and again as well.
• Be a friend to your partner. Listen to them, share your hopes and dreams with them and more importantly that anything, laugh with them. Just as you make time for your friends, make time to build a solid bond with your partner.
• If you feel like you need more from your relationship, say so in a non accusatory way. Say how much you would love a date night, and romantic time with just the two of you, don’t let resentment build – if you don’t ask, you don’t always get! By the same token, learn to respect your partners needs – if he wants time out with the boys to play or watch sports, don’t hold that against him. Use that time to develop your own interests. Communicate your needs together and negotiate ways of each of you getting what you want.
• Have regular sex. We all know that work and children get in the way and sometimes you just aren’t in the mood, but a satisfying relationship is one that has a satisfying sex life. Do what you have to do to allow yourself to get in the mood – hire a babysitter, wear nice lingerie, organise a date night, read a steamy novel. Encourage a more active love life with your partner and you will not regret it.
• Talk. It sounds obvious, but many couples do not talk. Firstly, there needs to be an open honesty in a positive relationship, and secondly talking fires things up and keeps things interesting. Share your interests and your passions, talk about the news, talk about what happened at work today, but make sure you set aside time to talk… and listen to each other.
• Set boundaries. Do not let yourself get in a position of temptation. If there is someone else that you find attractive, stay away from them! Do not complain about your relationship with other people – they will take it as a signal that you are ready for a ‘flirtatious fix’. Do not flirt with people – you might think it is innocent fun, but if you flirt with someone you know, you are signaling to them that you want to take the next step. That next step is an affair. Discuss boundaries with your partner and make an agreement to maintain and respect these boundaries.
  

Remember, this article is not about you doing all the work for your partner – you are working for your relationship and yourself. When you do the things above you will feel happier within yourself, as well as enjoy a more fulfilling and positive relationship.