"Hi Clayton!
 
Over the years I have seen a pattern in male behaviour from both male friends, male family members and male partners of some of my girlfriends that each time I come across, it annoys the sh*t out of me! My question is this: What is it about having an extremely attractive girlfriend/partner/wife that turns men into arrogant 'I can have any woman I want' knobs in public? The acting up I have witnessed at times is mind boggling to the point where certain males sometimes will refuse to be seen standing or sitting next to his lovely bewildered partner in public when it is clearly obvious that 70% of the entire male population present in the social situation at the time would cut off his left one for the chance or certainly wouldn't treat a lady like this?"
 
Hi Annoyed-Sh*tless!
 
Ohhh yeah, I totally know what you mean.  There is definitely a certain type of guy that acts like a douche around his attractive partner.
 
They're called arseholes.
 
I'll wait a moment while the shock of learning that there are men in the world with ill-conceived ideas of how to treat a lady sinks in.
 
They do this because they're aware that they have an attractive partner, and perhaps they're intimidated by this.  Thus, they need to raise their own social standing to match or exceed the perceived value of their partner.  They do this by taking a page out of the rock-n-roll book of cool which states: He who cares the least, is the coolest.  The way these men think, if they were to show attention and appreciation of their lovely ladyfriend, they would be lowering their own status.  It’s rubbish of course, and woefully adolescent, but that's the level these guys work on.
 
There could be another factor.  If these women are as attractive as you say they are (because I know I value my "left one" very highly indeed), then they're going to come up against a lot of this kind of thing.  It’s what I call the "Why Brad Pitt Gets Shitty Roles" theory.  Sometimes, when a person is just too good-looking, they will suffer because they will not be appreciated on any other level.  Brad Pitt's actually a very good actor, but he consistently gets these terrible hunk-of-the-week roles because we wouldn't accept him if he was playing the average office schmoe.  We can't get past the looks.
 
The same goes for very, very attractive women when they're dating.  Men will get caught up on how they look, and so they will attract a certain type of man.  This type of man is driven by his desire to attain and consume beautiful things.  Once he has conquered said beautiful thing, he'll quickly lose interest and look for the next.  This type of man doesn't settle, he is constantly looking for the next trophy.  These men are horribly arrogant and horribly insecure at the same time, and like a horny sci-fi alien, they will not stop until they've consumed all the beautiful women.
 
So now I've answered your question as to why some men behave like this (let's review: arseholes), there's a second question begging to be asked, which is perhaps much more important: why do you know so many of them?
 
Seriously, do you and your girlfriends just have chronically bad taste in men?  Are you still working through that high school phase of being turned on when guys don't return your calls, of being titillated when men hit on your best friend before your eyes?  Are you and your friends still charmed and smitten by the bad boy?
 
Because in short, guys only act this way because they're allowed to!  You don't like the way he's acting, tell him to go peacock somewhere else.  He'll either go off and find some other girl he can ignore, or at least try to amend his ways (more likely to be the first, to be honest, but you're still better off).
 
Maybe it’s because guys who indulge in this kind of behaviour tend to put a lot of work into themselves to make sure they can pull it off.  They work out, they're charming (at least at first) and they're very well-practiced at what they do.  As such, they get away with a lot more than what they would if they were a bit more "average."
 
I'd say that you and your mates need to have a good look at the men you're hanging around with.  If you decide it’s time for a change, why don't you change your scope a little and focus in on a type of guy that's perhaps different to where you've gone before.  Because it isn't all guys, it’s only certain guys.
 
Certain guys that certain girls like.
 
Go get 'em tiger,
The Man.
 
Article by Clayton
Clayton is a freelance writer, designer and illustrator living in Auckland, with a 9 to 5 in the marketing world.  His band once had a song on the Radio Tairua top 100, but that was mostly because he agreed to design the station's logo.  If you came over to his place, he'd cook a great Moroccan Chermoula fish meal, but if you came over again the next night, it would probably be take-out.  He does a mean David Bowie impression, and his Bob Dylan is coming along nicely.

Got a guy problem? Do you need a peek inside the mind of a male? Wondering if men really are from mars? Gloss would like to welcome you to the intriguing and often misunderstood recesses of a man’s mind. ASK away…

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