It’s a new year and Vaughan is back with more wise words for our readers...

Hey everyone, happy 2011, I hope you’re enjoying our the penultimate year of our existence before catastrophic events, the likes of which we have never witnessed, or experienced before, tears apart our fragile, floating space orb home. HOOOORAH! Live for the day. Right let’s get into some of the questions that you want to know about the male of the species.

I have been sleeping with a guy for about 6 months, he stays at my place all the time, he is really cuddly with me, and is always really nice, but he never calls me his girlfriend and when people ask if I’m his girlfriend, he just smiles but never says yes. I don’t know if I should ask him if that’s what he wants.  Does he want something more? Any insight would be helpful!
Sam

Hola Sam,
As my Nana famously says, who wants to buy the cow when they are getting the milk for free?  But that’s enough about free milk, I’m highly lactose intolerant. But if you find free milk I’d say make the most of it. But anyhow, your issue is an interesting one. Some people, not just guys, aren’t into the labels aspects of your traditional relationship. While he might consider it a relationship, he finds the word “Girlfriend” to be a little, um, school ground? Perhaps you are his singular adult female companion for outings for the purpose of food & socialising as well as his current singular choice of sexual partner? That sounds awesome. Almost like you are some sort of robot. Some sort of futuristic relationship robot… Are you? Because if you are I would like to know more from you about that. Perhaps we could duplicate your basic circuitry and slightly alter your programming for the purpose of cleaning, helping the elderly and undertaking tasks deemed to dangerous for humans? If not, then I guess he might just be scared of the finality of attaching such a definite label to your current relationship?  Can’t hurt to ask where he stands on the issue, but if pushing the issue is going to drive him away I guess you have to weigh up what is more important, the label of “girlfriend” or a guy that you like that treats you like one without the label?

I hope this was in someway helpful. If not, at least we got to talk about robots huh?
Vaughan

Who is next?
 
I've heard that some guys really like it when a girl makes the first move i.e. asking a guy out. Then again I've also heard that if a guy likes you, he will pursue you.  My question is, should I tell my guy mate that I really like him (plus side I come off as this cool confident chick minus side I come off as desperate)? Or should I just wait until he tells me he likes me and pursues me?
Anna

Hello Anna, (That’s a formal greeting, are they so hard you would deny me one? Jokes of course)
Here we go! The ooooooold shy guy routine huh? Let’s just quickly swap boots on feet and talk about shy girls, I know about shy girls, I dated a few back in the 00s.  Shy girls and I assume guys, are fun at the start as they seem mysterious and somewhat interesting, however most of the time they are just quiet because they have nothing to say and they seem mysterious because they haven’t really got much to say and they’re on a whole not overly interesting as they have nothing to say. Are shy guys like that also? *Shoe swap back* But perhaps it’s not a shy guy you are dealing with here? Sure, some guys like a girl to make the first move, sometimes guys aren’t shy but just lack that little courage switch to make the first move and I am all for going after what you want, so perhaps you should initiate things?

However, you have said “Guy Mate”, and guys can just be that, people think guys are only friends with girls they want to sleep with, which isn’t true at all, we can be friends, we’re friendly. I’m pretty sure it was a male that invented the concept of friendship.  I’m of the feeling that if there is a chance of romance between mid term to long term guy/girl friendships it would have happened somewhere in the mid-friendship stage.  Friendships that blossom to romance rarely happen like the whole Chandler/Monica situation on friends, there could be that awkward “You’re the Chandler to my Monica” “Oh no I’ve always thought of you as a Monica to my Ross” moment.  This might sound a little intermediate recess break but there is always the option of getting one of your clever, discreet friends, REPEAT, CLEVER. REPEAT DISCRETE, friends to sound out the situation in a discrete, clever manner, REPEAT DISCRETE CLEVER MANNER, before the awkward euthanizing of your friendship.  Confused more than ever? Me too. This is like that time I watched the ‘Inception’ scenes all out of sequence.
Vaughan

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