How do you know if a guy is ready to move in together? My boyfriend and I are both looking for new flats, and we've been together for a while so it makes sense for us to move together. How do I bring up the subject?
Holly

Holly. Great question. When is a guy ready to move in together… Hmmm… I think guys are ready sooner than you’d think. Here are a few bullet points to ponder:
• We can split the rent right?
• You can put away our clothes?
• I’m going to be late home, can you cook my dinner?
• You won’t wear my socks aye? Because you’ll stretch them…
• Can we stop watching Grey’s Anatomy? I wanna play Black Ops on Xbox online with Sam & he’s not going to be online for long.
• Can you leave the back door unlocked? I lost my key.
• Carl is going to sleep on the couch tonight, is that cool?
• Hey I used the last of the milk, can you pick some up?
• I washed my red shirt with your shirt stuff and now everything is pink, how do you fix that?
• Someone called about something for you, I was going to write it down but I couldn’t find a pen, it might have been your Dad?
• I can’t save the game here, there are no save points. Give me 5.
• I didn’t leave those skidmarks in the toilet, must’ve been someone else.
• I haven’t used your expensive facewash, why do you always accuse me of such things?
• You’ll go halves with me on all the sky channels aye?
• I have a faaaaaaaaaaaaair bit of stuff. We can scatter that around the house haphazardly right?
• Can I take your car to work tomorrow? Mine has nooooooooo petrol
• Your car doesn’t have any gas it in, sorry. Forgot to fill it up
• What’s that smell? Ooooooh it’s my gym bag. It’s just under the bed. Smelling like rotting fish & dead things…
• Can you have a whip around with the vacuum? My mum’s stopping in later on. But I might not be here… Entertain her yeah?
All things to think about. We are horrible to live with. We are messy, smelly, annoying, noisy, stealy, usey creatures of habit. Imagine living with a monkey minus the cute factor. Now… Any hurry to get us to move in? In saying that, if it feels right, DO IT, ask if it’s a possibility he would consider, if he says yes, then set some harsh ground rules and watch him change his mind pronto. Best of luck there buddy!

 - Vaughan

Why do men offer up excuses instead of saying sorry even when they know that acknowledging their mistakes will fix everything?
Honeygirl

WHOA! Welcome to the Issues Hotel… Hostility suit booked for two? Right this way. Yeowser.

I think this isn’t only a guy issue; this is a human condition. I mean most famously throughout time men should have apologised to other men & saved the world the issue of war and conflict, but in modern times & relationships apologies should be a two way road open to traffic, not a one way bridge where you sit at one end waiting to see what the other person decides to do.

Guys won’t apologize because it means we were wrong, it means we have to temporarily sacrifice our alpha-male title to admit not all we touch turns to gold. Buuuuuut females are just as guilty when it comes to being stubborn and as they dig in their high heels and metaphorically chant “we shall not be moved”.

Science has a fantastic paradox (irresistible force paradox) that I think sums it up perfectly, "What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?" Scientists haven’t solved it yet as irresistible forces and immovable objects aren’t that easy to come by, but when you’re at loggerheads with your partner, maybe apologize before a cataclysmic event happens that there is no going back from.  But if you believe you’re right & they’re wrong to hell with all that science listen to the Tom Petty classic “Won't Back Down” and prepare yourself for a possible world ending stand off.

Good luck?

- Vaughan

Listen to Fletch & Vaughan on The Edge, weekdays 3-7pm!

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