Our resident male, Vaughan Smith, answers reader questions, giving his expert opinion on the male species...

I know every guy is different, but what are most guys looking for in a girlfriend?
Amy

Dear Amy, I entitle this answer “Guys want it all” Let’s begin.

I googled the question that you asked and google knew what I was going to ask before I asked it, so I’m guessing we are not the first to have pondered it.

See? So… I looked at a few websites, they listed things that sounded like an episode Sex & the City crossed with Feminist Studies 101, (which would be a hell of an episode & probably the plot for the third movie in the series? Something to ponder). It’s a really difficult call, as you have identified it’s quite the subjective situation.  Apparently, according to Freud, guys look for qualities in a female that they identified in their mother, that’s a bit weird, old Freud spent a lot of time justifying his personal crush on his mother. So… this is bordering on the philosophical and you came here for answers… Soooooo…. Here’s a list of things guys like. (I’ll use famous examples for my points so you can be like “oooooh, I get that, I felt their X FACTOR”)

Brains: Alicia Keyes, Kate Beckinsale, Natalie Portman, Elizabeth Shue, all mega brains.
Eyebrows: Natalie Portman, Angelina Jolie, Lauren Conrad, Megan Fox Jessica Biel, all great eyebrows.
Symmetrical Faces: Eva Mendes, Charlize Theron, Rihanna, Natalie Portman, Hilary Duff & Cindy Crawford, all have symmetrical faces.
Humour: Tina Fey, Elizabeth Banks, Anna Faris, Natalie Portman, Kaley Cuoco, all very funny ladies.

Basically guys want Natalie Portman to be their girlfriend. Problem solved. Become Natalie Portman yeah? Ask any guy, they would want their Mum’s to meet Natalie Portman. SHE WAS IN STAR WARS. Three words. Natalie. Port. Man. I hope you found this answer both informative & helpful.

Why do you think it is that men don't 'court' women anymore? Seems like most relationships these days start as a drunken fumble in a bar.  What's happened to dating?
Louise

Let’s look at where we came from first, because we can not appreciate where we are going without where we came from…

Monkeys, their courtship is very basic, they give a fem-monkey a Banana & BOOM, it’s on.  Monkey letters every day, Money solo house building in the tree tops, Monkey marriage, monkey babies, Monkey Notebook ending in a Monkey rest home. Monkey tears, Monkey Ryan Gosling, Monkey Rachel McAdams.
Or if you believe in the Bible, Adam gave his rib so he could have a girlfriend. I doubt you’d find many dudes these days who would give their rib for a girlfriend, unless she was smoking hot, then you’d find they’d probably give two, just so they were even.

A little more recently in human nature we’ve had Pre-historic dating, the very early stages of man would simply club the female they desired over the head and drag them by their hair to their cave; that was their idea of a date. They never had any idea a date was about to begin and then, for them anyway, it was over. 
Slightly more recently in the early times of modern man, about 6000BC, men just bought wives or swapped them for goats, camels or a bundle of reeds. To make a modern comparison, you would be listed on Trademe.co.nz and men would offer things like a trailer in good condition, or a lawn mower hardly used, to your father in exchange for your hand in marriage.

Then in the Middle Ages, when the Bubonic plague was rocking around killing everything & everyone, your marriage was decided for you by your family, often you’d end up marrying your cousin.

Let’s get to the 20th Century now, I’m pretty sure everyone under 30 thinks the 1920s-1960s were the dream time of courtship, we all image trips to the malt bar, drive in movies, diner dinners, make out point, marriage, then sex & the perfect nuclear family.  I think we only believe that because it’s how the media portrayed it at the time & that was because that’s all they were allowed to show. This was the time of wars, riots, excessive drug use, poverty, MASSIVE BACKSEATS IN CARS & few STIs, our Grandparents partied, and ‘played around’, harder than any generation before them & probably any since.

Modern courtship has been affected by two things: MTV reality shows & Equal Rights. Firstly, MTV reality shows show us these absolute douche bags treating women like sex objects & because there is a camera there these fame hungry monsters lap it up, don’t get me wrong, there have always been groupies, but mostly for people who deserved it, rock bands, sports heroes, astronauts! Not groupies for some greased up douche bag from the 'Jersey Shore'. Now moron guys everywhere think they are worthy of groupie love & some idiot females give it to them. 

Secondly equal rights, Females battled for equal rights for years, now they’ve got them, why can’t we be courted? I wouldn’t mind a bunch of flowers, I wouldn’t mind going to dinner at your expense, I wouldn’t mind going to the movies & you putting your arm around me. You’ve taken the equal pay, the equal opportunity, the equal rights, but you haven’t taken the equal responsibility of taking charge and treating us like gentlemen. So what do we do? Drown our sorrows and hope for a fondle and a grope at a Nightclub. Step up ladies, you’ve got control, now use it.

Have you got a question for Vaughan? Ask away here!

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