I think I’ve made every mistake in the book when it comes to break ups; pretending that my phone was out of range and screening calls to avoid a second date (yes I’m guilty), disappearing without a trace and even using the “I still love you, I’m just not in love with you” line, then calling them to chat and leaving them hanging on for months. Funnily enough my avoidance tactics didn’t make the break ups any easier; in fact it made things a lot worse for both parties.

These days it’s oh-so-easy to dump someone or to vent your anger when things go pear shaped via the internet and the myriad of social networking forums, but just because you can doesn’t mean that you should. After all, how would you like it if your new relationship status and long list of faults was splashed onto the internet?

So what are the dos and don’ts of break up etiquette and how should break up with someone when things just aren’t working out?

Don’t tell everyone except the person you’re dating in the hope that the news will get to them and they’ll get the hint and don’t use social media to post the news
Social networking sites might encourage us to tell the world what we’re doing right now or what’s on our mind, but I’ve just dumped (insert the person you’re dating here) is something you should keep to yourself. Chances are the person you’re dating has the same Facebook, MSN and Twitter friends as you do and will be welcomed by your announcement and probably a hundred messages from friends saying ‘what!!!!?’ as soon as they log on. When it comes to break ups make sure the person you’re dating isn’t the last to know. 

Here’s a tip – Changing your status from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘single and looking’ isn’t going to win you any friends, but it will make your ex angry and confused (after all did you just hit the wrong button or is this really it??)

Don’t go missing in action and hope they get the hint
Avoiding their calls or disappearing off the face of the planet might seem like a good idea at the time but it won’t put off the inevitable. Sooner or later you’re going to have to face them and if they’ve been calling and calling, or asking your friends for updates they’ll be angry and humiliated and rightly so. Going missing in action stops them from healing and moving on, after all there’s no closure when your sudden disappearance leaves more questions than answers.

Don’t break up with them by text or email
There’s nothing worse than being unceremoniously dumped by text, so unless you want them forwarding your Dr John text to everyone you know, do it in person. Also there’s always the risk that the text won’t reach its destination!

Don't behave badly in the hopes that they’ll break up with you first
Breaking up is hard, but acting like a jerk or going out of your way to be horrible so that they’ll break up with you first is only going to make matters worse in the long run. Word gets around so unless you want to lose your mutual friends in the break up, be brave.

Don’t get someone else to do your dirty work
It might have been okay when you were knee high to a grasshopper but getting someone else to do your dirty work is just pure cowardice!

Don’t dump someone when you’re angry
Dump someone when you’re seething with anger and chances are you’ll say something that you don’t necessarily mean and might regret. Telling someone they’re the worst sex you’ve ever had might feel good at the time but it can do a lot of damage to their ego and feelings of self worth. (How were they to know that you didn’t really mean it?)

Don’t play the blame game
It’s rarely one sided when a relationship goes sour so avoid blaming them for the breakup or everything that’s wrong in your life.

Don’t kiss and tell
Jump on Google and you’ll find thousands of sites dedicated to bagging your ex, but does the whole world really need to hear about your failed relationship? Even if your ex is a total bastard who slept with your best friend some things are better left unsaid. Every relationship has issues so don’t tell everyone you know (and a million you don’t) a blow-by-blow description of what went wrong, or list of their faults.

Don’t start seeing someone else before you’ve broken up with them
Mmm believe it or not it happens and more often than you might think. How would you feel if someone did that to you?