Desperate and dateless? Don't blame yourself, blame the lack of ways to meet men... We look at some of the options with dismay!

So why are you desperate and dateless? To argue that there are more women than men in this world is just too glib. And I think we can dismiss the possibility that you are just so ugly nobody in their right mind would give you a second thought...

The real reason that it's so hard to get a date is that the avenues for meeting new and exciting possibilities are just so fraught with problems. Consider these:

The internet: Yes, thousands of happy customers may swear by it, but isn't it just a bit ikky? It's just too obvious, isn't it, that you are signing on in the hope of getting laid. I mean, you don't need more friends - if your life is as busy as everyone else's you're probably severely negligent towards the ones you've already got. And I doubt that you're looking for a needlework circle to join or somebody to share your sailing trip on a catamaran in the Bahamas. If you're going to go this route, at least be honest about what you're really looking for.

Bars: By this stage in life, the chances are you're a single parent. The household budget is already stretched enough without adding several expensive cocktails and an exorbitant cab fare home to the babysitting fee. Besides which, would you really want to end up with the sort of man who picks up women in bars?

Night classes: The bonus here is that you'll be able to pursue some sort of interest - you might genuinely like Indian cooking or learning flax weaving - but the drawback, in terms of the man-catching-plan, is that you'll just meet lots of other women who've had the same idea. You'll stand a better chance if you do something a bit more outdoorsy, such as joining a DOC tree-planting weekend. But it can be terribly hard to keep up your façade of glamour on one of those.

Friends' dinner parties: Now friends ought, by rights, to be the richest source of hope... They know you quite well and will instinctively understand what you're looking for in a partner, but when was the last time you got invited as a single to a dinner party designed for cozy couples? Face it, as a single woman, you are very awkward commodity socially. Third wheel anyone?

Singles travel clubs: Didn't you read the small print? They are for 18-35s and even if you take a few trips to the cosmetic proceedures office to fake it, surely the thought of being cooped up on a bus for a month with lager-louts will curb your enthusiasm for that kind of adventure.

Personally, my best 'meeting men' experiences have come when travelling the world alone. Perhaps this is because solitude makes you approachable, and you're not competing against your best friend. A word of warning though - you will need to look out for the sorts who fancy a quick bite to eat before returning to their main course in their home countries. 'Snacking between meals' is what I think it's called. Otherwise, meeting men on your travels seems to work a treat. Just don't make the mistake I did... At the airport before a flight to Europe, I was politely asked by the check-in person if I had any special seating request. 'Yes, I do,' I admitted. 'I'd like to sit next to the most handsome man on the plane.' Ignoring me, she laughed and continued issuing my boarding pass. Well, I got on the plane and found I was indeed sitting next to the most handsome man on the flight. The thing was, I'd forgotten to mention that he ought to be single!

- Rosemary Hepozden

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