Before you jump into a lifelong commitment, it’s important to prepare mentally for the journey ahead and to make sure that you’re getting married for the right reasons.

Can you relate to any of the following reasons for wanting to get married?

•    All your friends are getting married and you don’t want to miss out.
•    You’ve always dreamt of getting married before you hit (insert an age here).
•    Your biological clock is ticking like a time bomb and is threatening to explode.
•    You think being married will solve your problems and make you happy.
•    You don’t want to be alone.
•    You think no one else will love you.
•    Because they actually asked, and you didn’t think anyone would.
•    You think why not? If it doesn’t work out I’ll just start again!

Jump into marriage too early (whilst you’re still in the infatuation stage) or for the wrong reasons and the ‘come down from cloud nine to reality’ might come as a shock, so if you answered ‘yes’ to any of the questions above perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate. Take a step back and work on you and your happiness, with or without a man.

If you answered no and you’re desperately in love, fantastic! Here are the things that you need to consider before getting married.

Are your expectations too high?

You can just see yourself ten years down the track, blissfully happy, with two point five perfect children and a dog named Rover, living in your dream home, your domesticated husband doing his share of the housework and whipping up sumptuous meals to help out.

If this is your idea of marriage you’re in for one hell of a reality check! In fact marriage can be more like a game of negotiations and give and take, (you give, they take) if you don’t go in knowing the lie of the land.

Now, I’m not saying that men are takers and that marriage is a bad idea. To the contrary, marriage can be the most amazing relationship, experience and adventure you’ll ever embark on, with most men only wanting to make you happy. The problem lies with us.

You heard me, when it comes to marriage, women can be their own worst enemy!

Picture this, you meet a guy who ticks all the boxes; he’s everything you could have ever asked for and more and you’ve already imagined what your children will look like. You want to impress and show him what a great catch you are, so what do you do? You go all out. You doll yourself up, spend hours picking out that perfect outfit, cook him beautiful meals (even if you can’t cook to save yourself) and might even go as far as clean his filthy toilet.

If you’ve ever found yourself on your hands and knees scrubbing the bathroom floor of your boyfriend’s apartment within an inch of its life or picking up his jocks and socks (before you’ve tied the knot), ask yourself this. How can you expect him to know that you find cooking and cleaning as much of chore as the next person if you seemingly enjoy it?

I know what you’re thinking, cooking and cleaning is the way to a guy’s heart. Right? Not quite. Here’s something that might surprise you. We conducted a global dating study Real People - Real Answers: Flirting, Dating, Sex and Love, What Men and Women Want and found that only 53% of guys thought that it was important that their potential partner knew how to cook and clean. So you don’t need to be a domesticated Goddess to win a guy over, in fact taking a step back early on in the relationship will do wonders and might just give you that domesticated husband you’ve dreamt of.

An Oxford Study which researched how helping out around the house or with the children makes you more attractive to the opposite sex found that Kiwi men are not doing enough around the house to win over their wives and partners. In fact New Zealand men ranked equal 9th out of 13 countries. Not quite the picture of domesticated bliss you had in mind is it?

Want to get him to do his bit? I’m not suggesting you leave a fortnight’s worth of dishes in the sink or let yourself go, just don’t go overboard and if he does make an effort, avoid the temptation to show him how it’s done and give him the acknowledgment (and perhaps a little reward) that he deserves.