The book is like a bible – how did you accrue all the information in it?
Katia: I’m a dating coach so a lot of the information in the book comes from my own experiences of learning how to analyse body language. For example, when I was young, I was really, really shy but people interpreted my awkwardness and silence by thinking I was a snobby b*tch! Not the impression I wanted to give off at all! So, I have learned a lot about behaviour and am always particularly interested in the signs that people give out and how they are read by other people.

Paul: The research part of the book began with a worldwide in-depth survey which was filled out around the world by over 1500 singles in ages ranged from 16 – 83. After that we did in-depth focus groups and people were telling us their dating stories. The men and women got to talk to one another during this time too so it was quite fascinating for all of us. There’s a lot of scientific research in there as well – chemical reactions when people kiss, why men and women communicate differently… there are actual scientific reasons for our differences. The last part was one on one in depth interviews – we found there was similar information that we gleamed from each step, so the research is really solid.

What was the most surprising information that you found out?
Paul: Most people think attraction is mostly about looks and sex appeal, but we found out that for long term relationships the most important things are personality: sense of humour, common interests and intelligence. Looks are still important to most people but the other things came up first.

Katia: For women, guys had to be clean! That came out before looks. Another interesting thing was that people are more attracted to someone who is nice to them and sends open signals to say they are interested in you. Guys are visual creatures, let’s not deny that, but being open with them is more important – if you send them mixed messages because you are nervous you might be putting them off because they won’t think you are interested in them.

Paul: Our research revealed that people don’t like it when people play hard to get – they want a smile or eye contact to indicate it is ok to approach.

Katia: That’s right - 95% of men and 96% of women said that if they were given a smile or eye contact they would be more likely to approach.

What are some of the more successful ways to meet men… nice men!
Katia: The thing about meeting singles is that most of the time they are right under your nose – at work, friends of friends – in your social groups. But to meet the nice guys you have to be open to meeting them. Unfortunately, women can be very standoffish because they have a list as long as their arm with ‘must haves’ and ‘can’t haves’. A lot of women straight away assume that guys are just after one thing when they meet us, but you have to get rid of that notion if you want to meet someone. If you are thinking that stuff you can be sure it’s coming out in your body language, it colours your judgment, people read those negative signs and it’s harder to meet someone. That’s why people tend to attract the same relationships over and over again, because we don’t change our thinking. I always advise people to use the opportunities around you to meet people, don’t go out on the hunt looking – guys can smell that a mile away!!

Paul: It’s really important to women to be with a guy who has common interests, so if you are interested in cooking take a cooking class, if you like to dance go to a dance class. Find ways to meet new people with whom you already have those common interests and you may just meet ‘the one’.