That groaning you hear coming from the bedroom isn't delirium, it's despair! It's what you hear all round the world from more than 50% of all men aged between 40 and 70 - at least occasionally. And when it happens, too often shame, fear, confusion and denial follow. But there are a few simple facts to understand that should help to reduce the awkwardness of erectile dysfunction.

·        It's a myth that all men are ready for sex all the time. Just as we, from time to time, might prefer to slouch on the couch with a bag of chips to watch America's Next Top Model, occasionally - as galling as it is - your man might be more interested in doing something else, like watching Game of Two Halves or tinkering with his car. It's normal.

·        When a man can't get an erection simply because he's had too much to drink, that's not erectile dysfunction. ED is the persistent inability to get and maintain an erection sufficient for satisfactory sexual activity.

·        In at least 80 percent of cases, the cause is a specific physical condition, such as cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure or diabetes. Surgery, some medications, and depression can also cause it.

·        As a man gets older, his erection is not as impressive as it once was. He will probably need more direct stimulation of the genitals to get an erection, and he can lose it more easily. Furthermore, once he's ejaculated, it's going to take longer before he can get another. This is normal.

·        Despite being so common, what's extraordinary - and sad - is how both men and women can't or won't deal with it. Ignored, erectile dysfunction can create havoc in a relationship. Generally, men get very defensive about it; women blame themselves and think they must be too unattractive to spark sufficient interest in their man. Time slips past without communication occurring on either side; emotional withdrawal occurs and the relationship starts to unravel.

·        A man often feels mortified if he can't get an erection and it's not helpful to say things like, 'Can't you try a bit harder?' or 'What's wrong with you?' Instead, encourage him to visit the doctor - one who will take him seriously, and undertake a careful medical examination to find out if there's a physical problem creating the situation. Treatment can produce speedy and impressive results.

Article by Rosemary Hepozden

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