Ahh, the male menopause - the thing he will vehemently deny, even though it's true... So he's grumpy and you're at your wits end. Here are some ideas to rekindle the romance and perk him up.  

A home-maker's approach to understanding the ‘male menopause'...

The first thing a woman needs to know - preferably BEFORE she gets married - is that the majority of men are vain, selfish and always right! There, I've said it.  They very rarely say ‘sorry', have no idea how to work the washing machine - let alone the iron - and will definitely not let you choose to have a Chinese takeaway if they prefer Thai. 

So, why do we do it?  Why do we go weak and misty-eyed at the thought of a stroll down a very short aisle?  Do we not see the 32,850 meals we will cook, the 10,920 (at least) loads of washing we will sort, soak and load over the next 30 years?  I just calculated that I have made about 20,000 packed lunches over the last 20 years, and the I have exchanged a packed social diary for one filled with ‘must do' chores and shopping lists.  Ahhh, the life of a home-maker.

And yet, does my spouse look at me in awe and wonder?  No, and nor will yours, though he will probably comment on the fact that you look ‘stressed or tired' or hint (with a puppy dog face) that your sex life has taken a turn for the worse!

Men, of course, do not go through a menopause (according to them).  They do not wake up one morning and find white hairs in their eyebrows and black hairs on their chins, and even if they do they will probably think it gave them a ‘distinguished or debonair' look.  They don't get that ‘hang dog' look of sagging eyelids, sagging breasts and sagging (ugh) tums from bearing the fruit of their loins. 

Through it all - we love them to bits and still can't live without them but there are ways to make life with them a lot more bearable with a crabby, irritated man who is going through the ‘male menopause'.

He's driving you crazy with his moods - how can you perk him up?

If it's making your life a misery putting up with his grumpiness during his ‘moody phase', then remember there are some things men and women do have in common and that is a love of romance, sex and feeling desired.

The truest words ever spoken were that women need to feel loved to have sex, and men need to have sex to feel loved.  It's not easy to think (when you feel like strangling that man of yours) that he is as sexy and desirable as when you first fell in love with him, but if you want to stay married you have to eat humble pie now and again.  If you don't want him, someone else will! And after all, meals for one in front of the TV aren't really that appealing, are they?

So, even if he's being a misery guts and you're tempted to lock him out of the house, you might like to cheer him up by rekindling the romance, and who knows - you might inspire a bit of Romeo in the old fella after all...

Sure-fire hits to chill him out (you might even enjoy it too)

Soak his feet in some scented water and take a long time to wash them, maybe wearing a kimono just slightly loose.

Stand behind him and massage his head.  Pretend you are a shampooist at an expensive salon.

Buy yourself a skirt and wear it in front of him - preferably with heels. Our men always have a soft spot for feminine clothing, yet how many of us now live in lycra track pants? Seeing his lady in something a little dressy can often perk up a crabby man.

Every man's fantasy has to be red lipstick, suspender belt, stockings (yes you can still buy them) and high heels.  Remember that old ‘whore in the bedroom and Madonna in the kitchen' saying?  If he says he isn't like that, he's lying girls. Treat him now and again to a visual lingerie feast - he is sure to appreciate the effort. And have the confidence to forget your ‘flaws' - men are far too busy admiring the bits they love to notice the ones they don't.

Finally, if you no longer get turned on as easily, try keeping a raunchy novel in the bedside cupboard and have a sly read while he is cleaning his teeth. It works every time.

And remember, just because he's not perfect doesn't mean you are either!
We all have our flaws, it's just that women spend our lives trying to perfect theirs and men tend not to notice they have them.

HAPPY MARRIAGE, FOR EVER AND EVER.

Article by Jane Hill-Hayr

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