• Plan your party 10-14 days ahead and choose guests who will be able to mix well and have something in common. This is vital, having once had a dinner party where there were long eerie silences, accompanied by the sound of cutlery striking china! 

• Keep your hospitality simple and not too ostentatious - your success as a hostess does not depend on how expensive the food served is, so don't try to be too formal and elaborate. Remember, extravagance is the greatest vulgarity (even more so if you can't afford it) and will make your guests feel uncomfortable, and what's more, they won't want to invite you back to any of their special occasions!

• Keep your animals and kids away from your dining area. I learned this the hard way... My first ever dinner party as a married woman was a disaster - let's face it, I was trying to impress in-laws, so I scoured cookery books for the most complicated recipes I could find. I set a formal table with my best cutlery and glassware, and placed my piece-de-resistance (an elaborate dessert that had taken me two days to make) in the centre of the table. Unfortunately, I left the door to the dining room open and on ushering my guests into the room, found that my dogs had pulled at the edges of the tablecloth and the remains of my magnificent pudding was on the floor, half eaten, along with a lot of broken glass. My screams were probably heard all over the street, and my then ma-in-law thought I was a complete idiot.

• Set your table in an uncomplicated manner. Simple fresh flowers as a centre-piece look wonderful (save the formal for the boss) but remember to keep the height of them low enough to enable your guests to see each other over them. For a special touch, place candles either side of the flowers. Make sure to buy decent candles, the $2 ones splatter all over the place and then go out. 

• Cutlery is important. If all you have is the plastic handled stuff, then for goodness sake have a casual style occasion such as a picnic or a barbeque!  You don't have to spend a fortune on solid silver, but do buy classic flatware and glassware for special occasions.
  
  
• Plain white napkins always look elegant (make sure they are stain free and neatly pressed) and nothing patterned or coloured please! My brother once embarrassed my parents (he was only 5) by saying loudly at the dinner table that we only had paper ones at home! 

• Lastly, you're not having an open home. No-one wants an exhausted hostess falling asleep at the table. Of course, put away the clutter from the area where you are going to eat, vacuum and make sure the room smells nice, but remember that no-one is going to inspect how much dust there is on the top shelf. 

I've had some memorable dinner parties, too many to mention unless I am going to write a book. One in particular, we were too poor to afford wine, and my parents said not to worry, they had some homemade I could have. I was entertaining an old school friend who had done well for herself and who was, to say the least, rather snobbish.  Her nose was up in the air at the carrot soup and peach wine, but that stuff must have been 90% proof, and I can still remember her lying under a chair, hysterical with laughter after a glass and a half of the potent vino... Turned out, my mum and dad knew how strong it was and thought it would be rather funny. Happily, we remained friends.

The most important advice of all is to entertain as a matter of course, not as a slave or by putting undue pressure on yourself, but as the queen of your castle, so that your visitors feel the joy and warmth of your home, and need we remind you - don't forget to have fun!

Do you have any surefire dinner party tips and tricks? Or have a dinner party horror story you learned from?
Submit a comment to share your ideas below...

Article by Jane Hill-Hayr

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