If you're like most people, you are glossophobic (afraid of public speaking).  Let's look at exactly what makes you afraid when you get ready to speak in public.

Dr. Roger Flax, an executive consultant in the United States, surveyed 12,000 senior executives and asked them what their reasons were for being afraid of public speaking. His results were published in ‘American Salesman’ magazine in 1990.  These were the top answers: 63% were afraid of being boring
71% were afraid of freezing up and forgetting
77% were afraid of ruining their career or reputation
81% were afraid of making an embarrassing mistake

Can you relate to these fears?

Dr. Stephen R. Covey cites in his book 'The 8th Habit’, a survey called 'The Harris Poll' of 23,000 employees. The survey found that only:
15% felt they worked in a high trust environment and only
17% felt they had open communication in their organisation.
This means that there is not a lot of trust or connection happening out there.

So what keeps you from being fully confident and connected?

There are TWO basic emotions which get in your way:
The first one is SHAME:
Did anyone ever say to you: ‘pull your head in’?  Or have you ever been publicly humiliated? Were you ever told you shouldn't be a 'tall poppy' or a ‘braggart’, a 'skite' or a 'show-off'?  Did you ever feel you just weren’t good enough or didn't belong?

We have learned to pull our head in and to not risk looking like a fool - to tone ourselves down a bit to keep ourselves safer.  Yet safer also means less inspiring.   Are you interested in inspiring others when you speak?   If you are, perhaps you might need to challenge any feelings of 'I'm not ready' or 'I'm not good enough'.

The other emotion which stops you from connecting fully with others is arrogance.   Did you ever think that you were just a bit better than other people? That perhaps if the world had more people like you it would be a much better place?

Which of these two emotions feels more familiar: shame or arrogance?  Do you generally think you're a bit less than everyone or a bit more than everyone else?  Ideally, you want to be right in the middle...you don't think too much of yourself or too little of yourself. So are you holding yourself back, not fully allowing your voice to be heard?

In my work with business leaders and in my ‘Voice of Leadership’ workshop, I teach 'Seven Steps to Powerful Presence' and ‘Seven Steps to Crafting a Presentation’ which all support leaders in strengthening their confidence, connection, and effectiveness while speaking.

Do you still feel you're 'not good enough' to be a speaker?   A few months ago, I was asked to become the new president of the National Speakers’ Association of New Zealand in Auckland.  I heard a little voice say 'I’d love to!'...which was drowned out immediately by a bigger voice saying ‘you’re not ready.  Maybe next year'.   I held my tongue and didn't say a word. I thought:  'I’m not ready...I have to wait until I'm more experienced.  A better speaker, a better leader'.  But another voice in me said, 'Take the plunge, go for it!' And I ended up accepting the challenge and becoming the current president of the National Speakers' Association of New Zealand’s Auckland chapter, and it has been a tremendous experience...I've been encouraged to step up and to find and express my own 'voice of leadership'.

So, don’t wait until you feel good enough - you might never get started.  The time is NOW - not later. Remember to consider the reality of your time limit here on earth.

Here's to you strengthening your confidence and connection and moving your communication up the scale from ordinary to inspiring...taming your fears and discovering your 'voice of leadership'.

Article by Sally Mabelle

Sally Mabelle is a leadership and communications expert.  For more information go to www.sallymabelle.com.

Sally Mabelle’s next public workshop is being held in Auckland on 6th July, 2010. For details, see www.sallymabelle.com/events and to see Sally in action as a speaker see www.sallymabelle.com/speaker. Sally’s background as a professional actress and voice coach as well as her light-hearted approach makes her workshops uniquely fun and engaging educational experiences.

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