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The Voice of Leadership

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Most of us are terrified of public speaking – when it comes to expressing our opinions in public we can find it difficult. Sally Mabelle explains how we can feel more confident when speaking to others… How connected do you feel to yourself in that situation, and to your audience, be it a large group or a single person?

When you’re asked to stand up and speak to a group, or when you’re speaking to a new person you’ve just met, how confident do you feel?

How often do you consider the significance of that moment of interaction?

Why is it important for you to be confident, connected, and to consider the value of every moment of communication with others?

Because these three qualities, confidence, connection, and consideration are what you’ll need to find and express your ‘voice of leadership’.

Why is it important to find and express your ‘voice of leadership’?

Because our world needs inspiring leaders and visionaries right now - people who can help us navigate through all the rapid changes happening today. Technology enables us to be inundated with information which is a great thing, but at the same time, the world is inundated with problems and crises from global warming to the recession and in some countries, war.

We as a society need leaders who can help us make sense of it all. Our world needs your insights as a speaker and a leader to help move humanity forward. The world needs your ‘voice of leadership’. Do you remember President Obama’s speech on ‘change’? Not only was it beautifully written, but it was eloquently and passionately spoken – the result was riveting for listeners.

So, are you interested in helping out and inspiring others whenever you speak?

I’d like to share some insights into what’s stopping us from being inspiring and visionary leaders and share some ways we can overcome those obstacles to experience our full potential as communicators.

First of all, there are three capacities we need to develop if we want to be inspiring.

1.    Confidence - trusting in ourselves and in Life - and having the courage to take risks and try new things - stretch out of our comfort zones.
2.    Connection - being aware of ourselves, our own feelings and needs and having empathy for ourselves as well as being aware of others and having empathy for them.
3.    Consideration - and I don’t mean politeness... I mean a deep respect for the significance of every moment - a respect for our own time and energy as well as a respect for the time and energy of others.

Let’s talk about the first capacity needed to express find your ‘voice of leadership’ and to inspire others: Confidence...

Would you like more confidence? What blocks you from expressing your voice of leadership confidently?

Many people are glossophobic - or afraid of public speaking.

Dr. Robert Flax, President of Motivational Systems, an executive consultancy in the States surveyed 12,000 sr. execs which he’d worked with over a period of 10 years and asked them what there reasons were for being fearful of public speaking: here were the top 4 answers:

63% afraid of being boring
71% afraid of freezing or forgetting
77% afraid of ruining their career or reputation
81% afraid of making an embarrassing mistake

Can you relate with any of these fears?

Let’s talk about the second capacity needed to express find your ‘voice of leadership’ and to inspire others:
Connection... Would you like to feel more connected to yourself, and to others?

By connection, I mean, being aware of your feelings and needs and being able to express your feelings and needs and get them met in a healthy way...as well as the ability to empathise and relate with others. Many people feel disconnected - Many New Zealanders are depressed and medicating themselves with alcohol, drugs, and caffeine. We as a society are numbing ourselves out... and you as a leader and speaker can help.

Dr. Stephen R Covey cites in his book ‘The 8th Habit’, a survey called ‘The Harris Poll’ of 23,000 employees - it was found that only:

15% felt they worked in high trust environments and only
17% felt they had open communication in their organisations.

This means that there is not a lot of trust or connection going on out there.

So what keeps us from fully developing these capacities of Confidence, Connection, and Consideration?

The answer is TWO basic emotions restrict us. The first one is SHAME:

Did anyone ever tell you to pull your head in? Have you ever experienced public humiliation? Were you ever told you weren’t good enough, you shouldn’t be a ‘tall poppy’ or a ‘skite’, or a ‘show-off’? Did you ever feel you didn’t fit in? Didn’t belong?

We learned to pull our head in and to not risk looking the fool - better to tone ourselves down a bit to be safer... yet safer also can mean less inspiring.

The other emotion which stops us from connecting fully with others is ARROGANCE

Did you ever feel that you were just a little bit better than other people?

Which of these two emotions are you more familiar with?
Do you think you’re a bit less than everyone or a bit more than everyone else?

Ideally we want to be right in the middle... Don’t think too much of ourselves or too little of ourselves.

The world is waiting for you to discover and share ‘your voice of leadership’

So how do you get to be more confident, connected, and considered?

In my work with business leaders and in my *‘Delivering Dynamic Presentations’ workshop, I teach ‘Seven Steps to Powerful Presence’ which all support people strengthening their ‘Three C’s’... confidence, connection, and consideration.

Other forms of support are available from many books, CD’s and seminars, support groups, therapy, etc.
When the student is ready, as the saying goes, the teacher appears.

So are you holding yourself back, not fully allowing your voice to be heard?
Do you still feel you’re ‘not good enough’ to be a leader?

Listen to that inner voice of yours... even though other voices might try to drown it out.

A few months ago, I was at a committee meeting with the past president of the New Zealand Speakers’ Association and we were all asked who was interested in becoming the NEW President of the association. I had a little voice come up and say ‘I am’...which was drowned out right away by ‘you haven’t been on the committee long enough’... ‘you’re not ready’... ‘maybe next year’ and as a result, I held my tongue and didn’t say a word.

Later when the past president called me on the phone, I had an intuition he was going to ask me if I would be President.

He asked me to be Sr. VP instead, and I was a bit disappointed... yet relieved that I’d have someone else to ‘train’ me to be a leader for a year before I would step into the presidency.

Then, he called me the next day and said, “Actually, Sally, will you be willing to step up to be the President? I’ve decided I’d like to step down this year.”

I thought, ‘I’m not ready... I have to wait till I’m more experienced, a better speaker, a better leader’. Another voice in me said, ‘Take the plunge, go for it!’ I ended up accepting the challenge and becoming the current President of the National Speakers’ Association of New Zealand, and it’s been a fabulous experience; encouraged me to step up, to find and express my ‘voice of leadership’.

So, DON’T wait till you feel good enough - you might never get started! The time is NOW - not later... remember to consider the reality of your time limit here on earth.

Here’s to you finding whatever ways you can to strengthen your confidence, connection, and consideration of the value of your time and moving your communication up the scale from ordinary to inspiring... transforming your voice into ‘the voice of leadership’.

*Mention you read this article and received $50 off Sally’s LAST workshop for 2009:’Delivering Dynamic Presentations, on 9th December...

Article by Sally Mabelle

See www.sallymabelle for more details.

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