According to leading positive psychologists, one of the most powerful findings in the expansive literature on happiness is that happy people have better relationships than their less happy counterparts.  Therefore, it is does not require a rocket scientist to work out that investing in our social relationships is an effective and potent ingredient in our quest to create our authentic happiness.
This month’s article will focus on the role of kindness on our social relationships and in turn our happiness levels.  Kindness is no new idea - Thomas Carlyle, a Scottish writer from the Victorian era famously said - ‘a laugh, to be joyous, must flow from a joyous heart, for without kindness, there can be no true joy’. 
So why does practicing kindness make us happy? – There are many psychological theories and an abundance of research that attempt to explain the answer to this question.  According to Lyubomirsky (2007), the most concise rationale may be related to the following; Being kind and generous meets our basic human need for social connection.  Kindness and generosity allows us to perceive others in a more positive light and in turn, fosters an increased sense of interdependence between us and our communities.  Helping others allows us to experience gratitude.  Giving our time and energy to others, increases our self-perception and gives us a sense of value and mastery in our lives.  And... if nothing else, socially connecting with others and practicing kindness allows us to focus on something other than our own life issues for a short time.

The ‘Best Fit’ Forward
As I mentioned last month, some of the ‘happiness’ exercises that I present you will relate to and find natural, valuable and effective.  Some of them may not resonate with you at all.  That is ok.  We all have different strengths.  However, it is important to identify and realise what your strengths are, as like anything else, we do things better and with more gusto when we enjoy and value them. 
Sonja Lyubomirsky, in her book The How of Happiness (2007) discusses a ‘person-activity fit’.  The ‘person-activity fit’ is a diagnostic technique for testing which activity will be most valuable for you to try.  I have adapted this technique slightly to enable you to get the most out of these articles over the next few months.
When I present the different happiness activities in the next few articles, I want you to be honest and true in answering the specific question that I pose.  I want you to consider the happiness activity presented and then reflect on what it would be like to do that activity every week for an extended period of time.  Then, I’d like you to think about your reasons for doing this activity.  Is it because the activity felt ‘natural’ to you, because you ‘enjoy’ the activity, because you ‘value and indentify’ with the activity, because you would feel ‘guilty and ashamed’ if you didn’t do the activity or because you feel that your ‘situation’ would force you do the activity. 
In order to see if practicing acts of kindness is the best fit for you, please contemplate the following activity statement.  Choose why you would continue to do this activity according to the reasons above – ‘natural’, ‘enjoy’, ‘value’, ‘guilt’ or ‘situation’:
Practicing acts of kindness: I will do good things for others, whether friends or strangers, either directly or anonymously, either spontaneously or planned because...
The ‘best fit’ is when you continue to do an activity because it is natural, valued and enjoyed rather than out of shame, guilt or feeling coerced into.