How many times have you been sitting at work daydreaming of lying in the sun, reading a book? How many times have you been lying in the sun, reading a book and been daydreaming of having a gorgeous massage?  How many times have you been receiving a gorgeous massage and been thinking of work?  If this rings any bells with you, then that is because we faithfully fail to enjoy, relish, savour, engage and live in the here and now. 

We have a tendency to focus our energies on dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.  Our minds are often everywhere else other than grounded in the present.

We all get distracted, ‘zone out’ or spend our day running on autopilot from one task to the next.  Consider this; have you ever driven to work and when you got there not remembered driving down a certain road? Been in a conversation with a colleague, and notice that you’re already thinking of what to say next before your colleague has even finished speaking?  These are harmless examples of not fully engaging ‘in the moment’; however they are stopping us from fully engaging ‘in the right now’!

The next ‘happiness’ exercise that I want to share with you is all about living in the present.  Allowing you to focus on what is absolutely guaranteed – the here and now…  Allowing you to be mindful!

The Art of Mindfulness...
Mindfulness is a technique.  It is a skill.  Jon Kabat-Zinn was one of the first Western scientists to bring the skill of mindfulness from the practices of Zen Buddhism to the clinical world of psychology.  He describes mindfulness as ‘the awareness that emerges though paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgementally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment’.

In other words, mindfulness allows you to focus on your own inner experience with acute awareness and without judgement.  Mindfulness enables you to observe the contents of your mind, your emotions and your physical sensations in a calm and non-judgemental way.  The critical ingredients of mindfulness are learning to accept, observe and not judge your experiences. 

A central theme of mindfulness is accepting that a thought is just a thought.  As simple as that sounds - a thought is an occurrence in your mind that forms, takes shape and then passes.  Just because we have a thought, it does not mean that the thought is true or false or needs to be acted upon.  Try to think of your thoughts as clouds forming in the sky and then dissipating or visualise your thoughts floating past you on a leaf in a stream.  View your thoughts as flow.  They come and then they go.   Mindfulness teaches you to accept your thoughts without having to act on them or react to them emotionally. 

As mentioned previously, in order to be fully aware of your experiences in the present moment, it is important to do so without criticising yourself, others or your situation. I understand that this sounds difficult to do, and I make no false promise - it is.  At any one time, we are thinking, feeling, sensing and doing lots of different things.  However, as I discussed at the beginning of this series, like most worthwhile skills, it takes practice, patience and effort.  However, the psychological pay-off is immense.  Learning to defuse loaded and negative thoughts, emotions and behaviours is very liberating.

Finding the right fit...
In the last article I asked you to consider the ‘happiness’ activity presented in each article and then reflect on what it would be like to do that activity every week for an extended period of time.  I then asked you to think about your reasons for doing this activity.  Is it because the activity felt ‘natural’ to you, because you ‘enjoy’ the activity, because you ‘value and indentify’ with the activity, because you would feel ‘guilty and ashamed’ if you didn’t do the activity, or because you feel that your ‘situation’ would force you do the activity. 
In order to see if living in the present is the best fit for you, please contemplate the following activity statement.  Choose why you would continue to do this activity according to the reasons above: ‘natural’, ‘enjoy’, ‘value’, ‘guilt’ or ‘situation’.
Living in the present: I will pay close attention and take delight in the present moment through any medium that suits me – thinking, drawing, writing, dancing, meditating, etc because…’
Remember - the ‘best fit’ is when you continue to do an activity because it is natural, valued and enjoyed rather than out of shame, guilt or feeling coerced into.