Naming and shaming is the only course of action when dealing with net opposers, so here's a rundown of the worst culprits in our humble opinion:

Spyware: malice in mind
Words cannot describe how much Internet users hate spyware.

Spyware is a type of software programme that spies on everything you get up to on your computer and then sends this information back to a hacker over the net. Like a bad case of the clap, spyware just lingers and attaches itself to your computer just because it feels like it.

Mild versions of spyware will highjack your homepage and monitor websites that you visit, others have a more sinister plot in mind and will decipher your usernames, passwords and bank account details. Death to spyware. Amen

Spam
Not the canned meat variety; but equally as repugnant. Spamming is the term used to describe the abuse of electronic messaging systems to send unsolicited, bulk messages - junk mail, basically.

E-mail spam is the most common form of internet spamming. It involves sending identical or near identical unsolicited messages to a large number of recipients. Unlike legitimate commercial e-mail, spam is generally sent without the explicit permission of the recipients, and frequently contains various tricks to bypass e-mail filters.

Countless times a day our inboxes are invaded by offers of 'hot dates with horny housewives' or 'increase your penis size today' -  initially diverting and mildly amusing, but it's only a matter of time before email spam becomes Satan's little helper.

Viruses
People who write viruses - what's that all about? Depraved little people who wile away the hours writing malicious programmes that ultimately inflict unwarranted pain and sorrow; virus authors are morally bankrupt idiots.

Behaving very much in the same vein as human viruses, computer viruses spread itself like wildfire through your PC and replicate themselves to cause maximum damage.

Most viruses are intentionally destructive - they seek to destroy data without compromise - while others are slight more benign in their make-up and simply want to cause nuisance, not destruction.

Regardless of their ultimate aim, viruses are as evil as evil can be. Off with their heads!

Media
Trial by media isn't just a phrase that's relevant when describing tabloid fodder, it also applies to the media's guilt of creating a false perception that the Internet is a dark, sinister place that's unfit for human consumption.

Ill-informed, sensationalist newspapers often blur the line between perception and reality. We've all at one time or another read ridiculous headlines like: 'Net Users Beware: Surfing Isn't Safe', or 'Net Responsible for Porn Uptake' - the upshot of this kind of lazy journalism is that readers are fed the wrong information and are, for want of a better word, cheated.

The Internet is a fabulous playground - yes, it may have its bullies and delinquents who spat and smoke behind the bike sheds, but it's a creative and fun environment to be in - embrace it.

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